I hate death. Not so much the thought of dying, but the sort of things death brings. I can't stand wakes for one. It's bad enough seeing other people you know in tears-- it's worse seeing someone you've known for a long time in a box not breathing, and looking like some maniquin(sp?) in a clothes store, expressionless, distant. My great uncle Buddy's wake was this evening; he had died three days ago. I honestly don't know how all of the old folk there could cope with his death... he was a WWII veteran and there was this whole ceremony in which each soldier stepped up to the casket and saluted in what would be "the last salute" to my uncle. Just watching the retired men individually pay homage to my relative had me nearly crying uncontrollably. In fact I didn't cry at all tonight- it would have looked stupid considering all the old people who had known my uncle (over thirty years I heard one guy say) held their own emotions in check, and here is me this scrawny boy who's known him less in the scope of everyone there and he cries like a baby..

I hate death. One of my best friends died in sixth grade. Andy Domitro. He and his family were picking up his brother from college. On the highway coming back, the car veered off the road and all of the family, save Andy's brother were killed. It was the first time death was truly exposed to me.. it was a Sunday, I had the chore of watering the flowers and I got inside and my parents called me into their room and told me to sit. When they told me what had happened, I just sat their and tears began to form. I didn't understand death. I don't understand death. All I understand is that when death is exposed, it makes its appearance with tears, loneliness, and heartache.

I hate death.

Labels: death