Snow Fever this year wasn't as fun and spiritual as last years' but I still had a blast. Me, Kevin Friske, Kyle Skarstein, and Justin McFarlin had the privilege of having our cabin in the nurses room... so all weekend we were the acting nurses and we had more than one experience of people who desperately needed our expertise.

anyway, I wrote this poem today... had the ending a long time ago but no beginning or middle. It was inspired by a tension in my own life caused by one of my friends who isn't speaking to me. Logically, I don't know if this poem is sound; I know yelling and shouting and cussing does a world of hurt to the person it's aimed at.. but at least you are speaking to them. Sure, if you don't talk to them at all, you eliminate those screamed words... but you eliminate the entire talk process altogether as well, making, in my mind, a worse case.

Weapons of Word War

Words assault the ears in arrows and spears

Shouted and routed to disarm and destruct

Felling defenses by yelling offenses

Spitting out statements to sever and cut

Words used in war tend to rupture in roars

Muttering missiles remarked for the chest

Screaming of sass careening to crash

In a ploy to destroy, if not doom in distress

Emphatic exclamations wreck and ruin relations

Words loud and lively bend the bonds until broken

But of the words used in war, none are as vicious and violent

As the words said unspoken,

Subtle and silent

Labels: poetry

they say I've done pretty good in regards to my wisdom teeth coming out.

it's been a week and a day and the swelling has significantly subsided... the first days were the worst... I had to tie bags of ice to the sides of my cheeks via two long pairs of socks in order to stop the swelling. vikatin was the drug I was on all that weekend haha and I still feel a little drugged. but I'm thankful to God that my gums are still hangin in there (and that I haven't lost that much wisdom in the process)

Finals. Finally are over for this first semester of what is supposed to be the hardest year in highschool. a testimony to that hardship would be the D I received as my overall score in Pre-Calc. I'm so ashamed of myself for this. it'll go on my "permanent record" and as a result, now eliminated lingering promises of a better education, contrasted to what I have now. There is no one to blame but myself (but secretly I still hold that Miss Fendley deserves some). What should be learned from this is exactly what is asked: learning. Changing the past can't be done, but I can change the future because of it, and I hope that this failure is bad enough to jolt me to become a more assertive student.

yesterday, I went shopping with my mom to pick up long underwear for Snow Fever this year... the high is supposed to be -1! after getting all my warm garb, we got in line... and waited for at least twenty minutes... there were three stations at Khol's... and all three were dominated with the worst casheer women I've experienced thus far in my life. On the one side, there was the Indian lady who was discussing life with her fellow natives who were checking out. And in my line was an obese white lady who kept on asking questions to the person who was checking out... and then there was something wrong with the lady's gold card and the casheer was on the phone getting help... the other white lady casheer had a foreign accent... I didn't really pay any attention to her - the important thing is that we went nowhere fast! Finally, we switched lines and the Indian lady checked out our stuff, and we hurried out the door, but not before the alarm went off on the sensors hahahahaha. So we go back and the Indian lady runs our stuff through again and there is no problem............ so we leave and the sensors go off again but we keep going...

I still have to finish packing, the bus leaves for Snow Fever at two and check in is at one fifteen. Chow.

Labels: teeth

I'm typing from school... I shouldn't be in school though.

Before Christmas break, I had found out that I was to have all four of my impacted wisdom teeth taken out. That was scheduled before I went to Florida; but, after talking it over with the oral surgeon, found out that having my teeth yanked out prior to vacation would be bad.. I would be in Florida and if something went wrong after the surgery, there wouldn't be any easy access to him - and looking for another oral surgeon in Florida wouldn't be a smart move. So, my wisdom teeth were scheduled to be taken out after I came back. Fair enough. Then my mom told me that I wasn't going to have my teeth taken out that Thursday before break ended but the Thursday after break. So here it is, Thursday afternoon, 1:00 pm and my wisdom teeth extraction was to be taken place 11:30 am this morning, after second period. However, I received a note 1st period saying that my wisdom teeth appointment has just been moved to tomorrow. I'm mad, rightfully so. If all had gone according to plan, I would be at home, away from school for most of today and all of tomorrow. It would have worked out brilliantly too because it was late arrival so the time change enabled me to leave after 2nd period. But now, having my teeth operation tomorrow, 11:30 am would be during my gym class, 4th period. Not to mention that I know will be eligible to take a Spanish test 1st period tomorrow...

Why can't things go as planned?

Labels: teeth

I thought to myself... what if the Fountain of Youth's name didn't correspond to the affects of those who drink it, but to it's own present state? That's what influenced me to write this poem.

Labels: poetry

I hate death. Not so much the thought of dying, but the sort of things death brings. I can't stand wakes for one. It's bad enough seeing other people you know in tears-- it's worse seeing someone you've known for a long time in a box not breathing, and looking like some maniquin(sp?) in a clothes store, expressionless, distant. My great uncle Buddy's wake was this evening; he had died three days ago. I honestly don't know how all of the old folk there could cope with his death... he was a WWII veteran and there was this whole ceremony in which each soldier stepped up to the casket and saluted in what would be "the last salute" to my uncle. Just watching the retired men individually pay homage to my relative had me nearly crying uncontrollably. In fact I didn't cry at all tonight- it would have looked stupid considering all the old people who had known my uncle (over thirty years I heard one guy say) held their own emotions in check, and here is me this scrawny boy who's known him less in the scope of everyone there and he cries like a baby..

I hate death. One of my best friends died in sixth grade. Andy Domitro. He and his family were picking up his brother from college. On the highway coming back, the car veered off the road and all of the family, save Andy's brother were killed. It was the first time death was truly exposed to me.. it was a Sunday, I had the chore of watering the flowers and I got inside and my parents called me into their room and told me to sit. When they told me what had happened, I just sat their and tears began to form. I didn't understand death. I don't understand death. All I understand is that when death is exposed, it makes its appearance with tears, loneliness, and heartache.

I hate death.

Labels: death